You're in trouble now, Lonely Boy. (Photo: CW)
From bitches to books, no one seems to be enjoying their Manhattan sweet life this week–save for Lily, of course, who’s still soaking up life post court-ordered ankle accessory. Behold, the Top 5 Oh. No. They. Didn’t! Moments from “Memoirs of an Invisible Dan.”
5. It was bound to happen eventually. No, not Dorota bitch slapping Blair (although that would be amusing). Dan finally gathers the group to confess the he is, in fact, Anonymous. At first, Serena and crew seem rather nonchalant about his novel news (Monkey was more excited to spot a Central Park squirrel, after all). Even Nate’s cool with Dan’s artistic spin on his sexuality. But that “Kudos for you, Lonely Boy!” attitude ends once everyone–in true Upper East Side fashion—reads only the parts that pertain to them.
4. Sexy and smart? Those Brits really are the full package. Ivy’s able to pull a fast one over on Nate to get her phone back, but Florida’s no match for Diana’s scandal radar. The media maven pieces together Charlie’s Rhode-less identity and the trust fund baby wannabe immediately blurts out her entire broke to bling story. So much for discretion, huh? In an awkward twist, Diana takes Ivy under her wing—instead of splashing her sad story in black-and-white across the front page. Blame it on the language barrier, but something’s not translating here.
3. Dan’s beginning to realize the pen is mightier than the sword—unless it’s Blair Waldorf who’s wielding that blade. While Blair trades Cinderella mode for Sleeping Beauty, what’s a royal fiancé to do while his lovely bride-to-be slumbers away? Catch up on some coffee table reading, perhaps? Blair’s sweet dreams come to a crashing halt when Louis reads about her hookup sesh with Dan, eer, Dylan Hunter. Too bad he’s not buying his princess’ “it’s make believe” cry.
2. In all the hoopla and brouhaha, Chuck’s surprisingly quiet—despite his character, you know, dying alone. Depressing, no? Instead of following suit and bashing Dan, Chuck makes an emotional breakthrough of sorts, and reaches out to Lily for comfort. Is this the beginning of a softer Chuck?
1. Serena’s unflattering portrayal in Inside may have caused Daniel Day-Lewis to run like hell from working with her, but her ‘Employee of the Month’ status may not be at the bottom of the Hudson just yet. Serena’s boss is all too impressed by Inside and wants in—on the movie rights, that is. It’s time to schmooze things over with Lonely Boy or find another day job.
What do you think: Should Dan sign on the bottom line and book it to Hollywood?
