I suppose I should feel sad that we won’t get to see all these Upper East Siders until the autumn wind blows once more. But these final turns of events were so bitter and so not very sweet that I’m almost happy for the break. Of course I always love watching the train wreck that is S, sliding down the slippery, coke-dusted slope into Bad Girl Country yet again. But did you notice that the entire cast was scowling right along with her? This is one big unhappy group. Let this be a lesson to you: the more you have, the bigger the mess.
That doesn’t mean you can’t look good going down. Here are some things that delighted me this week:
Favorite Boy: Chuck looked particularly handsome and vulnerable and dewy-eyed. And we know he means not what he says, particularly when he’s talking to Blair. Which leads me to…
Most frustrating moment: When Blair told Chuck she loved him, and he didn’t just shut up and kiss her.
Prettiest lips: I want the lip gloss B was wearing when she wore that raspberry pink blazer with the big flower brooch. Her lips looked berry, berry spectacular.
Most Please-Tell-Me-You’re-Not-Falling-For-This Moment: When Serena was like, “Will you unzip me Dan? Don’t worry, I’m wearing a slip.” Since when do you go to the Campbell Apartment to dry off when someone spills a drink on you? Next time try the ladies room.
Meanest Eyebrows: Lily’s. They get thinner and more severely sculpted the more selfish and power-hungry she becomes. By the time she gets back together with Bart she’ll be totally eyebrowless and will have to tattoo them on.
Best Dress: Blair’s geranium red number with sparkly gold circles at the casino in Paris in her final scene. She was playing it all demure, but she was dressed to slay.
Best I’m-Too-Messed-Up-To-Even-Talk-Straight Slur: Serena in the final scene. It’s fun to watch history repeat itself. So, so much fun.
Will D ever return from Rome? Will he and Georgina get involved for real this time? Will she convince him to cut his hair? Will B win Chuck’s hand at blackjack, steal his heart back, and put a ring on it in Paris? Will we ever see Rufus again? Will S fall down in a drug-addled haze, get amnesia, and return to New York thinking she’s Jenny Humphrey? Will B and S remember that they both used to be in love with Nate back in high school, and realize how much he misses them?!
Rumor has it there’s only one season left to go. But let’s not let that ruin our summers. As if anything could.
You know you love it,