I have been waiting a long long time for my beloved Dave Franco to make a salacious little sex scene in one of his movies (thanks for nothing, 21 Jump Street…) and I was thrilled to death to learn that he finally gets down and dirty with Halston Sage (ugh) in Neighbors, but all of that enthusiasm quickly waned once Dave began to describe it in his own words. Spoiler alert: its not exactly a sonnet…
“It was nerve-wracking,” he tells Chelsea Handler. ”I was pretty nervous. I met the girl the day before, and she was beautiful and very sweet. But it’s awkward. You meet each other and then you’re grinding. You don’t even know her name… barely.”
I’m fine with never learning her name. Dave continued, and the details just got ickier…
“You have 20 crew members who are also watching you do it, and of course, for me, I woke up that morning and had a giant pimple on my ass!” he said. “I had to go to the makeup artist, who I had also met that week, [and said] ‘Can we go into the other room and you’ll put makeup—literally—on my ass, and uh…?’”
“He has this view of me that no one should have,” Dave said of costar Jerrod Carmichael, who walks in on the naughty scene. “He essentially had a staring contest with my brown eye and lost.”
Um…crush = terminated. Dave, you are adorable and foxy, but eloquent? Not so much.
After Dave’s oh-so-charming description of his lusty little scene, will you be lining up to check out his new movie this weekend? Or are you, too, mourning your crush on DF?