I often wish that I was born in another era, darlings, preferably the Roaring 20s–I would’ve made such a stellar flapper–but today, I am thoroughly thankful to be alive in 2014 so that I may witness in real time the epic disaster that is Farrah Abraham. And not just the Teen Mom star/porn star’s life but now, her “singing” career. That’s right minions, Farrah has released a song, and I used that word in the loosest possible sense.
The musical disaster, titled “Blowin'” (I can’t even with that name) is an aural assault unheard since “Who Let The Dogs Out” or “Achy Breaky Heart.” Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
While I encourage you to watch the video, I fully understand if it’s rampant awfulness is simply too much to bear. So here is a sampling of the “lyrics”:
Let me get that air
The wind I need,
Im blowin (I’m blowin)
All these bullies away
All these ups
With the best
(Following, Friend requestin, Fan pages)
Bein a star
Is better then
Not knowin (not knowin)
Who your are
WOW, darlings. Even I, Queen of Snark, am at a loss for words. It’s painfully clear that Farrah has no clue how songs/words/life works, and it’s possible that she’s just plain illiterate. And the video! I can not with this.
“I feel that to overcome the gravity of the negativity, bullies try to portray on others, we really need our own space and focus to leave all of that behind and clear the negativity,” Farrah said of the tune. I can’t even begin to explain everything that’s wrong and nonsensical about her statement, so I won’t even try.
Farrah also says her daughter enjoys the song and hopes that the little girl will find strength in the timeless tune and “be better than all the gossip and negative people.”
I just cannot even. What’s your take on this song/trainwreck? Does she make Heidi Montag look like Michelle Obama by comparison? Or do you find the ditty a little bit catchy…?