Hot Mess of the Century: Farrah Abraham’s New Song, “Blowin'”

I often wish that I was born in another era, darlings, preferably the Roaring 20s–I would’ve made such a stellar flapper–but today, I am thoroughly thankful to be alive in 2014 so that I may witness in real time the epic disaster that is Farrah Abraham. And not just the Teen Mom star/porn star’s life but now, her “singing” career. That’s right minions, Farrah has released a song, and I used that word in the loosest possible sense.

The musical disaster, titled “Blowin'” (I can’t even with that name) is an aural assault unheard since “Who Let The Dogs Out” or “Achy Breaky Heart.”  Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

While I encourage you to watch the video, I fully understand if it’s rampant awfulness is simply too much to bear. So here is a sampling of the “lyrics”:

Let me get that air
That breeze
The wind I need,
Im blowin (I’m blowin)
All these bullies away

All these ups
And downs
With the best
Support around
(Following, Friend requestin, Fan pages)
Bein a star
Is better then
Not knowin (not knowin)
Who your are

WOW, darlings. Even I, Queen of Snark, am at a loss for words. It’s painfully clear that Farrah has no clue how songs/words/life works, and it’s possible that she’s just plain illiterate. And the video! I can not with this. 

farrah abraham


“I feel that to overcome the gravity of the negativity, bullies try to portray on others, we really need our own space and focus to leave all of that behind and clear the negativity,” Farrah said of the tune. I can’t even begin to explain everything that’s wrong and nonsensical about her statement, so I won’t even try.

Farrah also says her daughter enjoys the song and hopes that the little girl will find strength in the timeless tune and “be better than all the gossip and negative people.”

I just cannot even. What’s your take on this song/trainwreck? Does she make Heidi Montag look like Michelle Obama by comparison? Or do you find the ditty a little bit catchy…?

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  1. Jillian Said:

    Hahahahaha what’s she blowin’ now?

  2. Jorge Said:

    I can not even deal with this… Oh my pickles, i thought it was about being a celebrity and that’s it… i just do not get her…

  3. ohlala Said:

    Ugh! Why? Seariously! Why, Gossip Girl Why did you post this? I listened to it and I’m just like… ok, I can’t! it’s awful!! Farrah, you’re NOT blowing the bullies away, you’re getting more with this song!!

  4. Pam Said:

    Sorry could not finish listening, not a fan.3

  5. danielle Said:

    oh my GOSH what the fuck is this.

  6. Daantje Said: her daughter has a mother with a porno and a horrible song with the most horrible clip with it..i’m sorry for her daughter when she reaches the age that she can understand this shit..

  7. Megsie Said:

    Oh my God, Auto-tune much? Is any part of that whole song her actual voice? Considering the no. of people slogging their arse off for a career in music, this is an embarrassment.

  8. Marivel Said:

    That song is pretty catchy but the song just says that being campuses is the best thing that can happen to you but not everyone who’s famous is happy they may be hating the fact that they have to do the same thing over again every day and only get 4 hours of sleep. This song is so bad because it shows how celebrities thought their lives could have been but that life gets hOne dayer because all your privacy is gone. One day she would look back and regret writing that song, believe me she will.

  9. Kenza Said:

    At least she’s pretty,i’ve never heard a song that actually made my ears bleed! I just feel sad for her,and whoever told her that she could sing THE SAME WORDS over and over and over! My baby sister can sing better than her! RETARD!

  10. Kaitlynn Said:

    The auto tune is so heavy you can’t even understand what she’s saying! This girl is wayyyyy too desperate to stay in the spotlight.

  11. Stevo Said:

    OMG this is absolutely pathetic! Was this released? She can’t dance and is so fugly! She can’t even sing! WTF are people thinking?

  12. Nicolette Said:

    I think we’ve found the new Friday.

  13. Kate Said:

    This looks like a video made by a seven year old on their iPod or something. She is such a bad singer and her dancing is just like WTF. Just no

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