Fashion Don’t: The Monokini

As you gear up to celebrate America’s greatness, you may be packing your Vuitton overnight bag with a few Fourth of July weekend essentials. But a monokini should not be one of them. Why not, you ask?

Oh, let’s have deposed Danity Kane singer Aubrey O’Day show us… CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PIC!

I think the look of terror and shame on Aubrey’s face says it all.

While the monokini may seem like a great garment to hide all those wobbly bits you won’t want to flaunt in a two-piece, it actually has the reverse effect and makes you appear boxy and shapeless thanks to that middle strip that only serves to highlight the fact that you are in fact wider than it is.

So loves, if you aren’t quite ready to show off your not-so-hard body, stick to a one piece with high-cut legs or a string bikini, which is universally flattering and–most importantly–adjustable so you won’t get muffin tops and spillage.

Aren’t you glad you have me to steer you away from Aubrey-like mistakes and toward summer gorgeousness? God bless America, darlings!

Aubrey O'Day 2013 American Music Awards

WENN

 

COMMENTS

  1. soro Said:

    what a fat and nasti ho…

  2. Gudbjorg Said:

    What a crappy article. I do not see anything wrong with this. Obviously a bad picture of her face that does not resembles her looks but millions of women would like to hava a body like that. Shame on you.

  3. Mich'l Said:

    So, do you think anyone involved in the picture, headline, or brief article look that good?

    Me either.

  4. COH Said:

    GOD! She is totally unrecognizable without pounds of make up and gallons of hairspray. She could walk down any street and no on would have any idea who she is.

  5. James Said:

    I’d still tap that shit hard

  6. rick Said:

    Not looking her face anyway

  7. bop Said:

    Wobbly bits? Oh… Okay, honey: Some women have these things called “boobs”. They do indeed wobble sometimes, but the general consensus seems to be that their motion is delightful. You might wanna have your fluids checked. You seem to be running on a lot of bile.

  8. Joe Said:

    Jessica Biel?????

  9. DLC53 Said:

    I happily own 5 crochet Monokinis!!

  10. pat decristoforo Said:

    A lot of envy out there. PAT

  11. pat decristoforo Said:

    A lot of envy out there Pat

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