Quel horreur, darlings! I am obviously all for documenting people with their La Perlas down around their ankles or lol-worthy wardrobe malfunctions. But even my cold, crystalline heart wouldn’t dare publish pics of a topless Kate Middleton–I can’t help but adore her — even though she re-wears the same pair of shoes, ugh.

Unfortunately, French rag Closer is very much sans class and put a half-naked Kate on their latest magazine cover. Sure, Kate is showing her crown jewels, but this would only be news if she were in a grocery store, not soaking up the sun on the private balcony of a 19th century hunting lodge. Why, I’d be more shocked if she wasn’t sunning in the buff, wouldn’t you?

WENN