Lindsay Lohan Lands a New Acting Gig

Place your bets now, darlings, for how long it’ll take for Lindsay Lohan’s new employers to realize they made a catastrophic mistake trusting her with any acting role above “girl in the liquor store.”

For reasons unknown, someone in London’s West End theater district may be casting LiLo in a revival of David Mamet’s play, Speed-the-Plow.

“It’s the first time I’ve done a stage play or anything like that,” she said. “I’m nervous but I’m excited.”

Lindsay Lohan

Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images

Oh you should be nervous, Lindsay. Considering she couldn’t even manage to show up and be coherent for her own reality show, I doubt very strongly she’ll have what it takes to slog through endless rehearsals or be ultra-on time for performances. But, her place in the play isn’t guaranteed, so there’s still some time for producers to come to their senses. After all, what part would she possibly play? The plow? The speed? There are vulgar jokes to be made at LiLo’s expense using both of those words but I’m too much of a lady…

Do you think Lindsay could stage her comeback on the stage, as it were? Or is she going to bomb on Britain’s Broadway?

Leave a Reply

*

*

Characters Remaining


Top