Break Up Alert! Michael Phelps is Back on the Market

If you like butterfaces with a closet full of Olympic medals, today is your lucky day, loves. I hear that swimming sensation Michael Phelps is single once again after dumping his unimpressive girlfriend, Megan Rossee because he felt their romance was “going nowhere.” An odd choice of words considering he’s spent his life in a pool swimming back and forth like a trapped Betta fish, don’t you think?

But still, I’m glad to see that he didn’t wife up this tres whateverish girl who I hear was only in it for the fame of dating a superstar athlete. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a pro-sports WAG, but next time Meggy darling, try to be a little less obvious. And Michael, try to aim a little higher. I mean, a low, center-part ponytail on a red carpet? Please.

You know you love me…XOXO.

Photograph by PR Photos


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