Chris Soules Is The Next Bachelor!

I just love The Bachelor. Gaggles of women with mid-range hair extensions hissing at each other about how they came here for love, not to make friends, when everyone knows that what they need is a psychiatrist who enjoys a challenge–not a fiance. So I’m delighted to announce that Chris Soules is the new Bachelor and he’s so sweet and hunky that I’m sure the marriage-hungry lunatics will be out in droves to compete for his heart!


What’s the 411 on Chris? Well let’s just say the tee he’s wearing isn’t meant to be ironic. The 32-year-old farmer from Iowa (yes, you read that right) (crush over) was a runner up on Andi Dorfman’s turn as The Bachelorette and was a fan favorite thanks to his wholesome charm. And unlike previous Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis, he seems to be actually looking for his other half–not sex and fame.

“First and foremost, I want to fall in love and find that person that is truly my soul mate,” he explained. “I’m willing to compromise, but I just have to find that person that I want to compromise for.”

Tell me, would you trade the Upper East Side for this guy?

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