I am not a huge fan of birthdays. I far prefer to be observing and blackmailing the center of attention than actually being the center of attention, and the idea of aging brings to mind morbid images of Lisa Rinna’s lips and Gwyneth Paltrow making her children’s friends eat kale chips. That said, one should celebrate one’s birthday with people of one’s own popularity and fame level, not a bunch of no-names.
Yes, Sandra Bullock, I’m talking to you.
Sandra Bullock celebrated her 50th birthday over the weekend, and instead of ringing in the big, terrible year with her A-list friends like George Clooney, Jennifer Aniston, Matthew McConaughey, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, she celebrated with a bunch of non-famouses. And Chelsea Handler. In Wyoming. I don’t even know where to start.
“Party” goer Chelsea Handler
capitalized on Sandy’s fame updated with some Instagram pics over the weekend, and the whole thing just looked so boring. In one pic, Sandy is laughing with her sis, which I will let slide because she’s family, but in another, she’s posing with a whole group of non-famouses. Including one who is mooning the camera (totes gross). I mean…come on. Sandra has an Oscar, and this behavior aligns with People’s Choice winners, at best.
The yawn-worthy birthday included a lot of low-key dinners (the worst kind), outdoor activities involving nature (I’m sneezing just thinking about it), and even a cowboy bar (grounds for removing Sandy’s Oscar altogether).
Sandy, darling, while I applaud you not releasing a statement with a blatant lie like “50 is the new 30,” just know that 50 is also not an excuse to let your social life go. I simply hope that George or Ryan are planning a star-studded surprise party for you to erase this mess from our minds.
Oh, and happy birthday.