WTF Alert: Lindsay Lohan Talks About Her New Book

For years, Lindsay Lohan has labored under the delusion that she’s a serious actress, that she’ll one day win an Oscar and that she does not not not have a drug or alcohol problem. So why not add one more fantasy to the fire? LiLo says she’s going to be releasing a book at some point (aka never) and that it’ll be a juicy tell-all and self help book. What?

“I’ve kept journals my whole life, since when I was a kid and stuff and I think I have a lot to say,” she told a reporter who no doubt was trying to stifle a snicker. “I worked with a lot of girls in India that have gone through a lot of stuff, and a lot of kids who have gone through family issues or who get subjected to DUI or anything like that and then the pressure of just being better.”

Lindsay Lohan At 'Weisses Fest 2014'

Monika Fellner/Getty Images

HUH? I just…there is…I can’t even get my head around that statement. Firstly, no part of me believes Lindsay “worked with girls in India,” which makes zero sense anyway. Secondly, you aren’t “subjected” to a DUI–you get it for driving drunk, which can kill people. It’s not some terrible travesty that an unfair god curses you with, like cancer or bad hair. You do it to yourself and deserve to be seriously punished.

But don’t worry dolls, she wasn’t done…

“I’ve seen a lot and if I can help anyone that might feel like it’s okay to screw up, it’s OK to feel lonely, or ugly or to feel overweight or underweight.”

Yes minions, Lindsay Lohan wants to be the shining example of falling down and getting back up. Because her life has worked out so well, n’est ce pas?

Tell me if you can make sense of Lindsay’s interview and how much you’d like to bet that this oh-so-helpful book she’s planning will never see the light of day!

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